In Black culture news and opinions
Well it was shown that I am not very popular with Black women (it has been that way all my life but oh well). Therefore, after this story I have a great feeling, that the dislike will grow. As one Black man once told me, the only problem he has with black women are how they think that they are blameless. Now at first, I didn’t understand what he meant by that, until I start hanging around large groups of Black women and saw why Black men felt that way. I mean I get it as a Black woman I know that we go through hell. No one knows the true hell that Black woman truly face day in and day out except Black women. However, we still manage to hold our heads up high as if nothing is wrong and that is the main reason why I love being a Black woman but I do hate how closed minded many Black woman can be sometimes, and I hate how we try to hold Black men to a particular standard that we are no where near.
Yes, black men do it too and as the story goes on I will touch on them as well, however, it is one great battle that will always rage on between the Black man and Black woman that have no chance in turning anytime soon. Now, if you know me then you know that pretty men are not my preference but it is a few that catch my eye. Therefore, if you know me then you know who is in my top 3. And the number one man on my list is none other than Michael B. Jordan. Ever since I seen him Fruitvale station, I had a huge crush on him. And don’t get me started on The Awkward Moment, when he played the faithful husband who had a trifling a** wife who cheated on him. However, as much as I love him, I knew just by looking at him that he really didn’t date black women.
I know that last statement may piss a lot of people off but face it! There exists some black men that you know who don’t date black women, and come to find out Michael is one of them. I have followed his career since Hardball, All my Children, and lets not forget the classic series, The Wire. The same women that is mad at him for dating outside of his race are the same women that probably did not give him the time of day when he was growing up.
Nonetheless, with the reports of his new relationship with a certain nonblack “Instagram model” it has reportedly caused talks of a boycott of the highly anticipated movie, The Black Panther. Now, if the story is true or false, time will tell but the timing of it all reminds me a lot of the Black woman sabotage of Nate Parker’s Birth of a Nation.
The call for boycott causes a great debate over the double standard that black men feel that they face when they choose to go to the other side. When just two months ago black women everywhere, were Meghan Markle’s and Serena Williams’ biggest cheerleaders over their new-found love which happened to be with white men. If you know me, then you know that I love Black men. They can work a nerve, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My best friends always tell me I need to be more open minded when it comes to finding love. Therefore, don’t get me wrong the thought of me dating outside of my race has definitely crossed my mind but I do wonder would if the reception would be any different if I went down that route?
When I was a young spirit, my first kiss was with a white boy, but that didn’t spark my interest in white men it just sparked my interest in dating older men (I was 7 and he was 9). As I always say, you can’t help who love. Some people just come in your life, and open your eyes in many ways that you did not at first find possible or take interest in.
When it comes to certain topics I try not to touch on them until I have a better understanding about it. Furthermore, multicultural dating is a topic that I try not to touch. But since Serena Williams and Meghan Markle become a hot topic with Black women, I find it fitting to finally give my two cents. Stories about the number of Black women who are still single have made headlines for years, and to be frank, we are tired of hearing about them. The reality often hits home when your love life becomes a panel discussion with your family. It’s like all that you’ve worked so hard for goes out the window, because you are still single with no kids. Therefore, the negative picture Black men and women paint of each other to justify the reason why they want someone of another culture and ethnic does nothing but further the divide between Black men and Black women. It becomes a lot of finger pointing, shaming, bias and hypocritical talk.
Why didn’t Michael B. Jordan and so many others choose one of us? Is the question that many Black women wonder, when they see a well-educated and quality Black man go another route. Even though the media tries to sell you the picture that Black men do not want to marry a Black woman and that Black women are the “most undesirable” group of women, trust and believe that there are still plenty Black men out there who does want to marry a Black woman. So ladies put yourself in the position to be chose, let’s shake the defensiveness and bitterness because it could be the very thing that’s turning our Black male counterparts off.
We all go through hell, but no one wants to come home and deal with another battle after dealing with the bull**** of life on the outside. Your home is your peace, and if you cannot find peace at home then where can you find it? Which is why, so many believe that dating another race will bring them that certain peace that they have been looking for.
When I talk to Black women many claim that they do not have a problem with a Black man dating outside his race but it is the double standard that they despise when they choose to do the same. If you are on social media, we all see it. Janet Jackson, Serena Williams and so many other Black women that chose to marry nonblack, was sadly labeled as, “traitors,” but many Black men even though Black men has been shuffling through the Kardashian clan and marry nonblack for ages. But if you let Black men tell it, they feel the double standard is the other way around, as in pro Black women dating interracially and not them.
Pairing happens in all ways and certainly colors. Even this insanely divisive period we’re going through in the United States can’t reverse interracial relationships. You love who you love period. Despite the persistent prejudice in the world, we can not deny that as a country we have come pretty far in taking steps to end racial discrimination. Before you all start yelling about how I am wrong, just take a deep breath, have a calming sip of tea and acknowledge that nowadays in our millennial generation we are actively open and accepting to diversity in a way that our forefathers would have gagged at. The very fact that you would even argue against me about the extent of our progress is evidence enough that we many of us are in denial of essential facts.
Interracial relationships and marriages may be on the rise, but we still see them differently. Race will continually be injected into their relationship because society will put a big red stamp on their foreheads that reads, “This is different, and or this isn’t right.” Well as I pointed out this will be one of those topics where there are no winners. The point is that, you may not agree with interracial dating but you will waste precious time condemning someone else’s relationship, when instead you could have been using that time to find your own love.
It is a new day and it is no longer illegal to date outside of our races, so why should that not be embraced? Be who you want to be with, but do not tear a Black woman/Black man down because at the end of the day we all came from a Black woman, Black man or both.
Yes, as a generation we are much more accepting of diversity than ever—but it does not mean that the problem is gone. But hell, what do I know? I am just here to share my thoughts, while I’m on this journey of self. P.S. I will not be boycotting this movie! I waited two long a** years for this movie to release and I be darn if I let, Michael B. Jordan nonblack girlfriend stop me from seeing it.
That Is All